Angels Among Us

Yes I am here. I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted, I must get into a better routine. So, December 1st, how did that happen? This fall has just gone at warp speed it seems like school for Declan just started and now we're going on to Christmas.

It's been a rough couple of months, but I seem to be getting my footing, I've got two good books to help me through, "A Course in Weight Loss" by Marianne Williamson and "Women Who Run With Wolves" I have been offered that book on and off for years and never read it but this time seems to be the right time to read it and reclaim my "Wild Woman" I'm loving it. And the Course in Weight Loss is fantastic. I'm taking it slowly and processing each lesson to really come to terms with ....well everything. We all have our own stories and trials that we must work through. It has also reaffirmed my faith, something I have always struggled with. I am handing things over to God because I'm just exhausted doing it on my own.

Isn't it funny how things will come to you at just the right time? You'll pick up a book to read it and it won't make sense so you'll put it back and then try again and put it back until one day you start reading it and it's as if they are different words. The "foreign" language becomes clear and you seem to be reading about yourself. "How did she know?" you think. SHE always knew, it was me that didn't and I had to be open to healing.

Open to healing....hmmm. We go around with these burdens, damages, hurts wishing them away, hoping them away, drinking, eating, taking pills to get them away, but we must first be open to examining the why and giving it over and allowing healing. We hang onto the burdens because they are familiar, they are an excuse, they push us down so that nothing is really demanded of us. Our spirits become crushed and we figure nothing will ever change, this is my lot in life. Yet deep inside hiding somewhere if we really look is a little tiny flame, a part that says you deserve better. You keep trying and trying until one day someone says something, you read a book, hear a song whatever, and suddenly you want to heal, you're tired of the excuses, tired of settling and you really want the life that you really want and deserve.

God sends you angels in so many different forms. I best friend whom you are finally willing to listen to. A police officer who speaks from his heart to yours. Books from people who have been there and shine a light for you, illuminating the path that you heretofore didn't see right in front of you. Plus he also sends Angels, the real thing, to hold you up when you can't stand on your own. Several weeks ago I went through the lowest point I've ever had, and looking back I can almost see the angels that surrounded me. There were many of them, keeping me from falling, holding my hand, surrounding me to keep me safe. I have never felt truely alone in all my life. Since I was a little girl it always felt as if someone was watching me. Not in a paranoid way, but that somehow I was being observed and was not alone. I was surprised that not everyone felt this. I thought it was probably God, and I'm sure he checked in, but now I realize it was the angels that surround me. They have always been with me, even now I can feel the familiar sense of the one always with me. He/She because there seems to be a lack of gender, looks out for me. Comforts me in my deepest dispare and brings speaking angels to me when needed.

I hope that somehow some of you will recognize some of the things I've said here. It took 45 years to even acknowledge it all, but now that I have and I KNOW, not just in my brain but also in my heart, it's changed everything and there's no going back.

Blessings to everyone today

Love,

Heather