Struggling

I feel a little like I'm clinging to stuff. I started a new job that is just overwhelming me, leaving me less time to create and now creating the problem of what to do with my little boy for the summer, since I'm working 5 days a week. I know plenty others do it but I so enjoyed being home creating and being with my son. I liked my old job better too. People were wonderful, relaxed atmosphere, I knew my job and all the pressure was not on me.
This new job is as a bookkeeper and trying to straighten out a mess from outsourcing over the last year. Is a $100 more a week worth the stress? Tears, responsibility? If only some of my artwork would sell. I don't have to make a living at it yet, but something.
WAAAA WAAAA WAAA someone call the wambulance!
I've been looking at all these wonderful retreats coming up in the fall and would give anything to be able to go, I need to be around "my people" feeling quite isolated lately and would love contact with other creatives. I'd love to do our own mini retreat locally if I could find the people. Saves on travel! A retreat for one? Hmmmm I'll have to think about that, even if it's a motel room with paint and canvas music and wine! LOL

Happy creating!

First Painting

Here's a quick photo of my first painting. I'm actually quite proud for my first attempt. It's so cool to try new things it makes you feel free and light. I had such a good time doing it too. I've had that canvas sitting around for more than a year, to afraid to put paint to it because of fear of failure. My sister and nephew are amazing painters with two very different styles but you become afraid because you wont measure up.

That's probably been my hardest hurdle along my path to creativity. I couldn't find what my creative gift, talent, calling was. I only knew that I had one. So quite often I would find someone who's stuff I liked and start doing something similar. But that doesn't speak to your soul and give you the joy of creating something that people recognize as you.

I still think my quilts are a lot me, but this could be something too, along with photography. It's so nice to have all the possibilities.